Every triathlete has a collection of race t-shirts. They might be technical shirts or cotton shirts, but they all proclaim a specific race in bright flashy colors that you wouldn’t want to wear in public. But we wear them to races, don’t we? A sometimes, but not always, subtle way of bragging. We do it to show that this is not our first rodeo, that we have been here before and are ready for “another” challenge. But there are unwritten rules about t-shirts.

First rule: Never wear a race shirt at that specific race, unless it is from a previous year’s version of the race. It screams “newby” and people will give you a lot of space at the bike rack because they don’t think they can trust you. By all means wear last year’s shirt, or even better the shirt from five years ago, as a way of proclaiming your veteran status.

Second rule: Don’t wear an ironman shirt to a sprint or Olympic distance race. You will come off as obnoxious and people won’t want to talk to you, unless you are a pro (but then you’d be wearing a shirt full of sponsors anyway). If you are doing a sprint or Olympic distance race, wear a sprint or Olympic distance race shirt.

Third rule: You can wear a sprint or Olympic distance shirt to an ironman or half ironman, this is not a problem. You can also wear longer distance shirts, as long as the race is from a different ironman/half ironman, preferably from previous years and at least one continent away. This increases your street cred and shows that you are a true long distance veteran.

Fourth rule: Most ironman and half ironman shirts should only be worn during run training while at home. These will get the neighbors talking about you as “that ironman guy” which will probably come up at the next barbecue.

Final rule: If you are lucky enough to have done the Ironman World Championship and have a coveted blue cotton t-shirt, never wear it. You would never wear a cotton t-shirt for training, and you are the only one to think it would look cool to wear it around town. It screams “look at me” and is best kept neatly tucked away as a souvenir, or mounted in a frame with the medal and your race number from the Big Dance. Mine is still in pristine condition, folded in a drawer, 23 years later. Granted, it is size XL and I am now size M, and I would look ridiculous wearing it, but that is not the point. There are certain things you simply should never do, and this is one of them.